Today I was thinking of the glass half empty half full deal; you know, the one about how someone describes a glass of water filled to the middle is supposed to reveal their optimistic or pessimistic perspective.
Here’s more how it really works:
Scientist: Observed subject is a transparent vessel apparently made out of glass, which, at time of initial observation contained approximately 500 ml of water. Further observation revealed a slow decline in water over a number of days, apparently due to evaporation and possible unknown factors. Chemical analysis reveals the presence of numerous known toxins in the water, which lead us to question the source of the water, originally identified as tap water. Continued observation is recommended.
Accountant: While we started with an abundance of our primary resource, H2O, over the past days we have had a net loss of 250ml. With just 250ml remaining, it is advised that we begin preparing for a water deficit.
Mathematician: Get your facts straight.
Writer: Sunlight glistened on the water, still and clear within the glass. Andre saw his wobbly reflection as he peered over the rim, staring at the dust slowly gathering on the surface of the forgotten water. He held his breath and took a sip, there! The water was now at the halfway mark. Halfway to where? He would not specify further, a peculiar trait which infuriated more than a few friends and acquaintances.
News reporter: Well folks, good evening. Tonight we are bringing you a breaking story, one which could have happened in your own kitchen! Neighbors say they saw it coming, but the family involved had no idea this could happen to them. A Glass Half Empty, tonight at 11!
Government press release: The first thing we want to do is to assure the public the situation is being fully investigated, and we will release full details as the case becomes more clear. What we know now is that water is involved, and the situation is contained, but beyond that we cannot say at this time.
(question from reporters): Can you tell us the amount of water involved, and can you confirm reports that a glass was used to contain the water?
(answer): I’m sorry, that’s all we have right now, we’ll have more updates soon.
The Minimalist: It’s a glass of water.
The Extreme Optimist: It’s a glass full of water.
The Exaggerator: They said there was a huge tub of water and then half of it just disappeared! Like that! And the weird thing was, no one heard a sound. Everyone was asleep, and the doors were locked, no drops in the driveway or anything….
Water has been occupying my thoughts lately, go figure.
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